“What if, instead of constantly trying to shape our child into the person we think they should be, we accepted who they are today. Because they are someone today. A brilliant person worth noticing and appreciating. A unique person worthy of having their differences celebrated, not dampened.”
Motherhood is full of ups and downs, sideways and diagonals.
I can’t tell you how many times I would hear shortly after my first was born, “Those kids don’t come with an instruction manual.”
“No shit.” I’d think and smile. They sure as hell don’t.
These little creature require all of us in the beginning but as soon as they grow they actually need less and less of us pushing our old and conditioned thinking onto their new and beautiful brains.
I always thought I’d do things different than my parents. Communicate more, never yell at my kids, be the calm mom.
Through times of hardship my behavior and language would resort back to my conditioned mind and wouldn’t skip a beat. I would witness this and feel the ever so present mom-guilt. Spiraling down into the unknown, I always knew there was a better way. A more accepting and loving way to be with my children.
In time, our children grow and become more independent and strong willed. As a culture and society we hear messages of raising nice, respectful and kind-mannered children.
We never hear allowing our children to experience life in the way they wish or create it to be. Giving them space to express their true nature and authentic selves. Many times we squash them like little bugs and work hard to mold them into living as the adults we’ve become… or robots.
I hope you’ll take sometime to read this enlightening article about the art of parenting with radical acceptance.
Parenting with Radical Acceptance
You know, we all cringe at the parent on the sidelines of the sports field screaming at their child, so invested in their success that you’d think it was their own.
We shake our heads at the stage mums on TV pushing crying children to perform and trying to convince us that it’s all for their child, not them.
We are horrified at the parents who reject their children because of their sexuality.
Such overt examples of parents projecting their own expectations and goals onto their children are easy to spot. And, hopefully, we know by now that accepting and celebrating our children for who they are, not who we want them to be, is extremely important.
But do we truly know this? And do we convey our acceptance to our children in our daily interactions with them?
Have you heard of parenting with radical acceptance? Are you inspired to see what your part may be in not truly allowing your child to be themselves?
Could you imagine what life would be like if someone you loved was always trying to change you? Sometimes just flipping it around and viewing the experience from their little eyes is enough to change our behavior.
I’d love to hear any insight you have.
Live Hippily… and give them a little more space, or a lot of space.