Yes, you read the title correctly.
I give my kids drugs and I am their drug dealer.
The thing is…I’m addicted to them just as much as they are… we feen for them.
You can tell when they need them so badly they will do anything to get them. They can be absolutely relentless and well sometimes I just give in…
I give them drugs:
- at parties
- to make/keep them quiet (so I may full-fill my mom duties… in peace)
- as leverage
- to reward their behaviour
It is a vicious cycle and it can be overwhelming when you know what you’re giving them isn’t good for them… but you do it anyway.
No… not meth, marijuana, crack, or ecstasy.
Sugar and TV.
Yes… these two things are considered drugs in my house.
Not because I am against all use of them… but the way my kids respond and treat them is JUST like an addict would respond to their drug of choice.
“Mom, can I have sugar?!”
“Mom, can I watch ONE more show?!”
“Mom, Mom, Mom… I want, I need, I have to have…
… A TREAT!”
… another SHOW!”
I struggle to balance these two elements every single day.
When we are in routine, I find creating and staying in balance is a little less challenging. BUT when life throws us an uppercut… or I’m crazy psycho bitch (PMS related… usually), these two “things” morph into a crutch and I depend on them to provide me, and my kids, instant gratification.
I know first hand that mom guilt is a byproduct with slight to over use of these two elements. The mom guilt itself can be extremely destructive on our entire beings and can send out spinning out of control.
We live in a world of constant temptation and stimulus…. In a world of handheld devices, TV’s, cupcakes, candy bars, birthday parties, and sugar filled processed food… and “healthy” yogurt.
Our kids are surrounded by these drugs at every turn.
I’ve met some moms who consider junk food as “just a part” of growing up and allow them to eat it at their kids’ discretion…. and some moms whose children have never heard of or had a…. donut.
Then there are the moms who opt to completely eliminate them out of their kids lives and those who have no limits on their kids’ drug consumption. Both of those options seem completely unhealthy and unrealistic to me. You too?
Our kids will one day grow up, be on their own and choose how much and when they will take and indulge in them and everything else. How will we teach them balance, self restraint, and will power.
So how do we balance and transcend that knowledge into our childrens’ future beings?
Well I don’t have all the answers…. if you do, please share. BUT I am a mom with a lot of mom guilt and I have made huge strides by implementing these strategies in my home:
5 tips to empower and assist with TV and Sugar drug use:
- Knowledge is power. Awareness if fuel. We must become truly aware of our kids “drug” use. Read my post Are you ready to know your sugar, sugar? This article describes my awakening to sugar. It was a pivotal point for me. Discover your actual use and implementation of these two elements. Understand when and why you use them. Awareness is the first step… once you are aware you KNOW what you are dealing with!
- Stay out of the aisles – This obviously relates to sugar…. Middle aisles are filled with packaged and processed food. Sugar is a main ingredient and if you don’t bring it home you can’t feed it to yourself or your kids. Boom.
- Spend quality time – This is a huge one for me. I can rely on TV and sugar to keep my kids busy when I’m working. It keeps them busy. When I step away, put them first, and spend uninterrupted quality time with them it’s magical. Their love tanks get filled and they are less needy and less likely to feen for their drugs. Get outside, go on a walk, color, play with play doh (I love the smell of play doh), do puzzles… just be present with them. It can be life changing for everyone.
- Communication – When I talk about what sugar can do to our bellies and how muscles cannot be built by watching TV they listen. Finding a relative foundation for how these two elements influence their lives and set boundaries which they can understand and respect is paramount.Ask how they feel after over indulging. What does it feel like in their bodies and skin? Does Superman or Captain America eat sugar? Get to their level and help them understand food.
My kids always say how sick they feel after eating too many sweets and how lethargic they feel after watching a long movie. I make it a point for them to bring awareness to those sensations and see the relation to the causation.
- Last but certainly not least, Don’t be so hard on yourself! – Authorize yourself to forgive yourself and just do your best. Stop destructive worry-filled thoughts in their tracks and breathe. Take baby steps or giant leaps, but do what is right for you and your babies. Your mommy gut is always right.
I’ve never met a mom who hasn’t struggled or strived for balance with these two elements. So know you are not alone… we are a community of support, ideas, and love. So if you need support, ideas, and love… just ask.
Do you have any helpful tips to share that have transformed your “drug” addictions? Please share 🙂
Live Hippily…. and think balance. 🙂